I’m not crazy I’m just a little unwell…

Tonight David wanted to eat at Burger King, not because he really loves their food but because with each kids meal you get…wait for it….a pokemon card and toy…so, after we were done eating and on our way home I decided to take a drive through the park and see if there were any blue herons fishing, there wasn’t but I spotted some cone flowers. As I’m taking pictures, I see what looks like an older man with a small dog in his arms across the pond watching me. I thought it was a little strange but I kept on taking pictures. I look over at him a few times, he’s just standing there, then as I turn to put my camera in the truck and get ready to go home I hear a big SPLASH!! As I turn around I see the little dog,  a chihuahua swimming across the pond but no man, not on the road where he was standing previously and not in the water…but there are big ripples where someone fell in.

Then, he surfaces and I yell to him to see if he’s ok, he seems to be struggling. There is another older woman near by and she’s talking to him but not doing anything to help, all the while this poor dog is swimming around in circles.

I get in my truck (David was in there waiting) and drive over, by this time another man had come over with his little baby and he offers to crawl down and get the dog. I asked the man, which by now I realize is a woman if she’s ok and she’s seems kind of confused and just sort of swimming around. I tell her that she needs to come out and to swim over to the grassy area where she should be able to walk out and she agrees and starts to head over to the side but then all of a sudden she swims out deeper, turns over on to her back then floats there with her entire head under the water! WHAT IS SHE DOING?

I’m beginning to think there’s something seriously wrong and she is trying to drown herself or something so I start yelling to people in the area if they have a cell phone…I didn’t have one and neither did anyone else! How is that even possible these days?
We used to have On Star activated on our truck but canceled it because we never used it, figures we’d need it after.

Finally I flag down a guy that works for the city and he goes and gets a phone. Another lady and her two little boys had come over and she told me that the lady had given her car keys to hold on to before she headed for the water, very strange.

So, she was finally able to talk her out of the water, I had the little dog (Benji) in my truck with David and then police and ambulance showed up.

Her name was Helen and she kept saying she slipped and fell and just wanted to go home. She lived by herself and was worried about what would happen to her dog if they took her to the hospital. There was no way we were going to give her keys back to her, what if she’d had a stroke or really was trying to kill herself and something happened to her after?

The ambulance workers were able to talk her in to going to the hospital, she worried about how her hair looked but then reluctantly got in the ambulance. I handed over Benji to the police and they were going to keep him until someone from the shelter could come and take him, poor little guy was all wet and shaking…I felt so bad for both of them being all alone and afraid.

Hopefully she gets the help she needs.

at what age do seniors start wearing THESE ugly mo-fo’s on their feet and THESE gigantic fuckers on their face?
my mom has those sunglasses, i’m embarrassed to be seen with her in public

oh and another thing about old people, they don’t sweat nor do they feel the heat, they are cold all of the mother lovin’ time!
it was pushing 90F PLUS humidity the other day and my mom had all the windows closed and the air conditioning off! WTF mom?! I came for a visit and left needing a shower, jeezus!

at what age do women have to get that “i just got my hair done and it looks like pubic hair” kind of perm? *shakes head*

both my parents have all their teeth (well, my dad is missing a few) so why do they talk all of a sudden like they have dentures? I am not kidding, their lips snap and crack and make noises they never used to make when they talk, it’s like they’ve got marbles in their mouths or something

speaking of talking…I made the mistake of calling my dad today after (him) being away on a trip for the weekend…my dad LOVES to talk, he’ll talk to anyone (except the walmart greeter, they piss him off) in fact, i think my dad would die if he didn’t have someone to talk to…so i called him up to ask if everything is ok and he would.not.stop. talking for a good 30 minutes. i could have gone and folded laundry in the other room  he wouldn’t have noticed i wasn’t listening.

speaking of the walmart greeter, at what age should everyone bow down and kiss your feet,  do seniors pretty much hate everyone and have a beef with every thing?
my dad, i love him but lately he seems to think everyone is rude but him.
my mom, i love her but she seems to think she can call teenagers no good ‘hoods’ and ‘thugs’ within earshot and not expect any repercussions….ummm, excuse me mom but unlike you i have a good 40 more years to look forward to, could ya keep your thoughts about the nice kiddies to yourself? k, thanks!

seriously, is there a seniors handbook that explains how old people should act, what they should wear, is there a nice graph that explains the time line clearly? is that what AARP is all about? I wonder if they have that in Canada? I would be CARP if they did, lol, carp…I bet an old person wouldn’t see the humour in that!

A long time ago I switched from internet exporer to firefox and loved it! Now that I have updated to firefox 3, I HATE it!! It keeps crashing and closing all my tabs! For fuck sakes that pisses me off!! I can’t go back to IE because it won’t even load on my computer anymore, don’t really know why…mabye I neeed a new computer. FUCK!

Did that get your attention?  Yeah, well David and I were at Walmart picking up some stuff for our camping trip next week…oh, we’re going camping next week, YAY!! Anyway, we stopped to fondle all the latest cell phones when this really tall man walks up to me and says; “hello, I’m from the local radio station and I’m wondering if you’d like to answer a short survey, one question”.  First off, dude was standing all up in my personal space, like less than a foot from me and he had to have been 6′2″ easily and was hovering over my face as I looked up at him. Normally I’m a bitch and say ‘not interested’ but I thought, what if I win something?

So, while he’s fiddling with his cell phone I agree to his ’survey’.  He starts going on about how it is now against the law to spank your child, the bill was just passed today in the House of Commons before it broke for summer break. He then asks “do you think it should be illegal for parents (or guardians) to spank their children”?, then shoves his cell phone about an inch away from my mouth!!

This brings us to the second thing, I don’t like being put on the spot and I am not one of those people that clamor to get their face on tv or their voice on the radio. I like being a wall flower, not seen and not heard.

*cue awkward silence* he says; “the senate just passed the bill today, it snuck through and not many people noticed, it’s now illegal to spank your children, do you think people should have that right”?

Me; “Uuuuuuuuuummmmmmm, I really don’t want to be recorded and be on the air”

He puts his phone away and then asks if I was spanked as a child.  I’m beginning to wonder if this guy is some sort of pervert, then he points to David, chuckles and asks; “is he yours”?

So I say yes and he’s never been spanked, ever. He asks again if I was spanked as a child and I say yes and that’s why I choose not to use that method of discipline. He seems to be in awe of the fact that I’ve never spanked my child. “Seriously”? he asks…

“Have I every spanked you David”?….”Nope”, he answers

Creepy survey guy doesn’t know how to handle this information and just says, “wow, good kid, you’re lucky….thank you for your time” and then walks away.

WTF was THAT all about? I really hate being caught off guard like that, I get all tongue tied and my mind goes blank, in fact, I think you could hear crickets chirping when he first asked me his spanking question. I was flustered to the point that I couldn’t remember where I parked the truck when we left.

Thanks a lot, ya fuckin’ weirdo!